Texting a guy you like can be nerve-wracking. You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate, but you also don’t want to wait too long to reach out. So what’s the sweet spot? When is the best time to text him to increase your chances of getting a reply?
Should you text him first?
In the modern dating world, there are no hard set rules about who should text whom first. It really depends on the situation and your dynamic together. However, many dating experts suggest it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to make the first move after a great date by sending a text to say she had fun. This opens up the conversation and shows him you’re interested. If he likes you too, he’ll be happy to respond.
Some old fashioned dating “rules” suggest the man should always text first after a date. But in today’s world, waiting for the guy to initiate contact first can sometimes mean you end up waiting forever! If you had a great time and want to see him again, there’s no harm in being proactive and texting him yourself to get the ball rolling.
How long to wait before texting him?
When it comes to the question of how long to wait before texting him after a date, here are some general guidelines:
– Don’t text him within an hour after your date. This can come across as needy.
– The “three day rule” (waiting three days to reach out) is outdated. One to three days is reasonable.
– Texting the night of the date or the next morning is fine. It shows you were excited to see him.
– By day two or three, if he hasn’t reached out yet, feel free to initiate contact yourself.
There are no hard and fast rules. The most important thing is you text him when it feels right for you. Don’t obsessively count hours. Focus on other things in your life and text him when you have the urge to talk to him again.
What to text him after the first date?
What you text is just as important as when you text. Here are some flirty yet fun texts you can send to kick start the conversation after a first date:
– “I had a really great time with you last night! Let’s do it again sometime soon :)”
– “Thanks for the fun night out! It was great getting to know you. We’ll have to do it again over an even better dinner ;)”
– “I can’t stop thinking about how much fun we had. Can’t wait to see you again!”
– “Last night was awesome. Your stories had me laughing all night. How about dinner again Friday?”
The key is to keep it light, positive, and romantic. Show your interest clearly and suggest meeting up again if you want to see him. Don’t go overboard with emojis or affection if it’s only been 1-2 dates. Save the kissy faces for when you’re in a committed relationship.
When is the best time of day to text him?
Okay, you know when to text him after the first date. But what about the best time of day to actually send your text? This matters more than you might think! Here are some tips:
Morning
Texting him good morning is a great way to start his day off right and get yourself on his mind first thing. Early morning texts also have a high chance of response since he’s likely just waking up and checking his phone.
However, don’t text too early if you know he likes to sleep in! And avoid super early weekend morning texts when he may be hungover.
Midday
Texting around lunchtime is a good window when he’s taking a break from work and more likely to chat. Late afternoon texts are also good when he’s winding down from the workday.
You want to aim for his downtime when he has mental energy and less distractions.
Evening
After work and before he gets settled in for dinner in the 6pm-8pm window can be a good time to reach out.
Late night texting can sometimes come across as “booty call” behavior, so tone it down after around 9pm unless you’re flirting with some spicy conversation.
Here is a summary of the optimal times to text him:
| Time of Day | Best Window |
|---|---|
| Morning | 8am – 11am |
| Midday | 12pm – 5pm |
| Evening | 6pm – 9pm |
Avoid texting late on weekday nights
Try to avoid texting him after 10 or 11pm on a weeknight. He’s likely getting ready for bed, and it can come across as inconsiderate of his schedule.
Unless you’re already in a relationship, late night texts should be reserved for weekends when you can have a more lively flirty conversation.
How often should you text him?
There’s a careful balance when it comes to texting frequency with a guy you just started dating. You want to stay top of mind without being overbearing. Here are some tips:
Don’t text him constantly throughout the day
Bombarding a new dating partner with texts all day long can be a huge turn off. Give him space to focus on work, hobbies, and his own social life.
Keep your text ratio close to 1:1 during your waking hours. If he hasn’t responded to your last text, hold off sending another. And avoid double texting to say something like “???” or “Hello?” if he hasn’t replied.
Once or twice a week is fine in between dates
You don’t need constant all-day texting at this stage. Aim for a couple engaging conversations spaced out through the week.
This gives you both a chance to live your own lives and look forward to your next date.
Text daily once you’re an established couple
Once you’ve gone on a few dates and are an official couple, it’s fine to text him good morning or chat a bit each day.
Both partners should initiate texts equally. If you find yourself always texting him first, bring this up in a kind way. You shouldn’t have to carry the conversational load.
Gauge his preferences
Every guy is different when it comes to texting styles. Gauge your new partner’s habits and preferences before going overboard.
Does he prefer phone calls? Is he not a big texter in general? Does he have long delays before responding? Adjust your frequency accordingly.
Matching his texting energy level will give you the best sense of how much communication he’s comfortable with.
What to do if he doesn’t text back?
It’s inevitable that sometimes a guy won’t text back right away, or at all. What should you do? Here are some tips:
Don’t panic if there’s a delay at first
People get busy with work, family, chores, hobbies, and more. Just because he hasn’t texted you back immediately doesn’t mean he’s not into you.
Give him several hours or half a day before you start to worry. Assume positive intent rather than ghosting.
Double (or triple) text wisely
If it’s been over 12 hours with no reply, it’s okay to send one follow up text like “Hey was just checking in again about dinner plans this weekend? Let me know :)”
But do not bombard him with multiple unanswered texts. Two follow ups maximum without a reply.
When in doubt, call don’t text
For important conversations, a phone call is more effective than texting. You can gauge tone of voice and directly get answers when you’re making plans.
Bring it up in person if he’s consistently flaky via text
If he keeps ignoring texts or giving one-word replies, avoid blowing up his phone about it. Wait until you see him next and politely say you feel disconnected when he doesn’t respond to you.
Good communication is key in a new relationship. Notice any texting red flags early on.
Know when to move on
If he goes multiple days without responding, constantly leaves you on read, or keeps cancelling plans, take the hint that he’s no longer interested. Stop texting him and move on to better dating prospects who are excited to talk to you!
Conclusion
Texting a new dating partner takes some finesse. You want to show interest without being too eager or aggressive. Timing your texts strategically around his schedule, and aiming for thoughtful conversation starters will up your chances of getting responses.
Pay attention to texting frequency as you get to know each other, and speak up if you’re unsatisfied. If he’s consistently an unresponsive texter, he may not be worth pursuing further romantically.
Remember to focus on quality over quantity when it comes to texting a new flame. Send engaging, fun texts in moderation to stay top of mind without being annoying. Flirty texting takes practice, but gets easier the more you get to know someone. With the right balance, texting can build intimacy and excitement between dates.
