So you’ve texted a girl and she’s left you on read. It happens to the best of us. When you don’t get a reply, it’s easy to feel rejected or insecure. But not getting a reply doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested. Here are some tips on what to text a girl when she doesn’t reply, without coming across as desperate or pushy.
Why Didn’t She Reply?
First, don’t assume her lack of response is personal. There are many reasons a girl might not text back right away that have nothing to do with you:
- She’s busy with work, school, family etc and hasn’t had time to respond
- She didn’t see the text because her phone was on silent or she has bad service
- She saw the text but got distracted and forgot to respond
- She’s not much of a texter in general and bad at responding promptly
Give her the benefit of the doubt before assuming she’s purposefully ignoring you. Send a follow up text and see if you get a response.
What to Text When She Doesn’t Reply
Here are some dos and don’ts for what to text a girl when she doesn’t respond:
Don’t:
- Send an angry or passive aggressive text. Being rude or confrontational will only push her further away.
- Send multiple texts in a row. Sending text after text will come across asneedy and make her less inclined to respond.
- Ask if she got your text. This puts pressure on her to respond.
Do:
- Wait at least a day before following up. Don’t appear overly eager by texting again right away.
- Send a lighthearted, casual text. Keep things breezy and make it easy for her to respond.
- Reference your previous interaction. Jog her memory by mentioning your last conversation.
- Ask an open-ended question. Give her something new and engaging to respond to.
- Compliment her. Say something nice about her to make her feel good.
Here are some examples of good follow up texts:
| Scenario | Example Follow Up Text |
|---|---|
| You met her recently | “Hey [girl’s name]! It was really nice meeting you the other night, how’s your week going?” |
| You’ve been on a few dates | “I had a great time with you last night. Let me know if you’d like to get together again soon!” |
| You’re trying to make weekend plans | “Hope you’re having a good week! Are you still up for dinner on Saturday?” |
The key is to sound casual while also referencing your last interaction. Give her a natural opening to pick the conversation back up.
When to Stop Texting
If she hasn’t responded to a couple of your follow up texts, it may be time to stop texting her. While you want to be persistent, you also don’t want to come across as a pest by texting her repeatedly without a reply. Here are some signs it may be time to stop texting:
- You’ve sent 2-3 unanswered texts over the course of a week
- Her responses have become very delayed and one-word when she does respond
- She’s not asking you any questions or furthering the conversation
- Your texts are much longer than hers
At a certain point, you have to get the hint and move on. But don’t delete her number just yet. Sometimes girls need space temporarily but reach back out later. Leave the door open by sending one last text:
“Hey, it seems like you’re busy right now. No worries if you can’t talk, but feel free to text me later if you want to meet up. I’d love to see you again!”
This takes the pressure off her to respond but leaves the possibility open in the future. Then the ball is in her court to reach out if and when she’s ready.
What If She Keeps Leaving You on Read?
It’s frustrating when a pattern develops of a girl continually leaving you on read and taking forever to text back. Here are some tips for handling a girl who’s a chronically bad texter:
- Don’t call her out. Passive aggressively saying “Thanks for responding” will only make her want to text you less.
- Use other communication methods. Try talking on the phone or FaceTime so it’s less easy to ignore you.
- Schedule dates in person. It’s harder for her to flake if you make plans face to face.
- Mirror her texting cadence. If she’s taking days to respond, do the same so she sees how it feels.
- Stop initiating. Let her be the one to reach out first if she’s interested.
The bottom line is you deserve someone who makes an effort to communicate with you. If she’s continually unresponsive, it may be time to move on and find someone who reciprocates interest and consistency. The right girl for you will be eager to respond.
When to Send a Final Follow Up Text
If you’ve sent a few unanswered texts over an extended time period, it’s appropriate to send one final text before closing the book on things. Here are some tips for a final follow up:
- Keep it simple. A long emotional text will likely go unread.
- Be direct but kind. Clearly express you’d like to continue seeing her.
- Make it clear you expect a response. Say something like “Let me know either way if you’d like to meet up again.”
- Give her an easy out. Say no hard feelings if she’s not interested anymore.
Here’s an example final text:
“Hey [girl’s name], just wanted to check in and see if you’d like to go out again sometime. I understand if you’re not interested, no hard feelings! But if you’d be down to meet up, let me know. Either way I appreciate you letting me know.”
This gives her a clear opportunity to respond while also providing an easy way to politely decline. If she still doesn’t respond after that, it’s best to move on.
Ways to Move On When She Stops Responding
Getting ignored by someone you like sucks. Here are some healthy ways to move on when she’s stopped responding:
- Delete her number/texts. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Vent to friends who will hype you up, not tear you down.
- Work on yourself. Pick up a new hobby, focus on your goals.
- Reconnect with other friends and family.
- Get back out there. When you’re ready, start dating other people.
The right girl for you won’t leave you hanging. Keep putting yourself out there until you find someone excited to talk to you and reciprocate your interest.
Conclusion
Not getting texted back can bruise your ego, but try not to take it personally. Follow up once or twice, then move on if she’s unresponsive. At a certain point, endless texts become needy and push her away more. Keep things breezy and give her space if she needs it. If she’s chronically flaky, decrease your investment and stop initiating contact. Focus on meeting new girls until you find one who won’t leave you on read. The right match will text back and be happy to make plans with you.
